Grief is a complicated and personal emotional process.
“The grief journey is unique to each person, and for pastors and church workers who have walked with others through grief, its unanticipated iterations may come as a surprise when we experience it personally,” said NOW District President Mike Von Behren. “We grieve as those who have hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13), but this side of resurrected life in Christ, we still grieve, and it is healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually to allow ourselves to do so.”
NOW Emeritus pastor and professor Rev. Herb Hoefer journaled his process of grief after his wife, Carol, was called to glory in 2024. He recently shared a raw and honest look at the first year of his life as a widower. The hope is that this may help others understand a little more about their friends and loved ones who are also experiencing grief. As he wrote: “I am a pastor, and I realize now that I never appreciated what widowers/widows in my congregation were going through. I share this record of my initial grief journey in hopes that no one will ever say, ‘I know what you are going through,’ because you don’t, and you can’t. However, hopefully in my sharing, you will have some idea of what might be going on with someone you care about.”
Dust Kunkel, NOW District’s Director of Ministry Leadership, said: “When we lose someone we love deeply, we face tremendous loss and challenges that are hard to overcome on our own. None of us grieve exactly like someone else. Grief can become hard to manage if we become isolated from others. I’m grateful for Herb’s honesty in telling his story of loss and grief. I pray it encourages those grieving to be transparent and seek support. For those who seek to help, I am hoping that this opens a door to learning more about how to be the presence of Jesus that is most needed by those captured by loss, pain, or grief. We need one another, and we need companions in our lives who will simply come and sit with us as the presence of Christ.”
Becky Oswald is a resource for our ministries in understanding death, the grief process, and providing support for our workers. She worked with two NOW District congregations as they came alongside and cared for their workers who had experienced the loss of a close loved one earlier this year. Oswald, owner of Journeys Grief Coaching, is a thanatologist, grief coach, and grief educator located in Hillsboro, Oregon. She holds her Bachelor of Arts in Education, a certification in Death and Grief Studies, and a Master of Science in Thanatology. Read more of her story here.
Through grief coaching, she walks alongside individuals to explore and utilize tools to engage in authentic mourning to process grief and move to health and healing. As a speaker and presenter for all ages, Oswald shares her passion for grief support and education in a genuine and engaging way. She found this passion through her own journey with grief after the death of her husband and the experience of living in a grief-avoidant culture. It became her mission to equip and support not only the grieving, but also those who want to come alongside and care for the grievers in their lives. Email Becky here.